Diary
September
A thought
09/02/25
So, a few hours ago I saw my neighbor receiving from her boyfriend a big big big hello kitty plushie, like, a big one, it was huge. And that makes me wonder, what the fuck am i doing with my life? lol
I think I need a girlfriend so i can give her a big big big huge plushie or something
A good bye kiss and a warm hug
09/02/25
A short poem I made for my future lover:
A kiss that makes you feel thousand autumns in one goodbye
One goodbye that makes you feel what you lived was short
A desire of more that makes you feel empty........
Don't go away......
Hug me once more so I can feel your heat in this coming winter
Come winter so I can feel like I still have her in my arms
Why have arms if I wont feel your body anymore?
Why have feelings if all you're gonna left me with is an empty hole through my yet broken heart?
Why have a heart if you're gonna get it broken when you go away from my life?
So stare at me once more so I can say once more even with a map I can't find way out from the shine of your eyes
Why would you ask me for the moon if you got the stars in your eyes?
Why would I ask you for one more kiss if I can still feel the heat of a warming winter hug?
So tell me, what will I do with my mind when you're gone?
What will I do with my heart when it's asking me for heat in this freezing winter?
What will I do with my lips when they ask me for yours?
What will I do with my love when it wants to be loved?
Hug me once more, a warm hug that makes me tell you I won't ever let you go away
Because even if you fade away from my life, you won't ever fade away from my mind
The house will whisper on my hear love with melancholic memories
The frame will ask me for the miss part of the picture, and my full moon will ask for your the shine of your eyes.
And now I let my dreams consume me.......
For my missing star with love
-A.M.V.B (Jeriko)
I hate my life
09/06/25
I hate my life, everything with it is bullshit. I look at the horizon and all my dreams are fading away, i wont achieve them. I just wish i wont wake up so i dont fcking suffer inside this lie of illusions and delusions.
Whats the point of it if i cant achieve my goals?
Whats its point if i cant be happy?
Maybe in other life i can get that happiness, but for now, i am just dying slowly........
Whats the point?
09/6/25
Whats the point of singing:
"She's bleeding on the inside, for me to call again"
"Supposed to say anything at all, to make you want me back"
"Her heart waits for me"
"Lets go away, so far away.....she said, she said"
If there is nobody bleeding for me, there is nobody i that wants me back, nobody's heart waits for me and nobody wants to go away with me
Life is pointless
09/16/25
Once more, I have come to the conclusion that life is pointless.
"How do you get wisdom? Sitting on your ass, on a godamn mountain"
jajajajaja I love Terry A Davis, he is my role model.
Void
09/24/25
Why am I feeling this void?
I feel like I'm not enjoying my life, like as if it just goes by. I don't feel enough, I wanna, I try but I just don't.
I fear to get older, no....I fear to not enjoy my present, to not enjoy my current age, to feel like I missed something. Look at the other people and how they're "enjoying their lifes" makes me think about if I'm actually enjoying what I have, what I'm living and feeling.
I think I just need someone or something.......
Dilemma
09/28/25
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
OMG
I got a hype again aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Turns out I got a dilemma, I wanna go to the comic con convention of my city next weekend, but in November, my favorite band is gonna come to my city. I got this dilemma, either go to the comic con or the concert and meet JT Woodruff.
You may ask, Why not do both? Well, the issue is money, I don't think I have or will have the enough money to do everything, sooo......I dunno
I'll think about it and let ya'll know what I'll do.